Glenn Mooney

The sex part was fun; the after-sex part can be awkward. Guys often feel they need to start making conversation, which often turn out to be the worst kind of chit-chat.  If you end up saying something regrettable, no doubt you’ll apologize, or say more wrong things attempting to explain yourself. You can try make things right, or at least make an effort to dig yourself out of the hole you’ve fallen into. Saying a wrong thing or two after sex is not the the end of the world, and there are things you can do to avoid awkward exchanges,.

I have provided a sampling of some of a few stupid things that should not be blurted out after sex. You should note that full list is endless, but hopefully this will provide a few examples of what words should be avoided.

“Was I actually supposed to stay here?”

Unless you were a sly ninja who slipped into her bedroom unnoticed, it’s apparent that she desired you stay here.

I get it that you are a gentleman always, and you had never intended to violate your partner’s personal space. However, you just violated her personal space — vigorously, repeatedly and kept her screaming for more.

So, yes. Staying over was the deal she made with you, at least unless she gives a finger pointing to the door. If she says at that point, “it would be better if you left,” that’s your signal to leave.

“Thank you so much.”

Well-raised boys say “thank you” for any kindness and consideration that comes their way, and that’s because it’s how mama raised us. She was a super-nice nice lady to welcome the entrance of your genitals, right? Wrong. It’s not a personal favor on her part (or yours).

It’s horribly tacky to say the least thanking her, which implies it was a transaction of sorts. Don’t expect a “you’re welcome” under the circumstances.

“Was I good?”

Don’t ask, don’t tell are best practices here.

Asking her indicates a lack of confidence in your abilities to please her and that you’re in need of validation that the equipment you used was satisfactory. If she responded well enough during the close encounter, that should be your answer. Most men suffer from these insecurities and uncertainties about their sexual performance, and tempted to ask after every sexual encounter. However, there’s no need to give into uncertainty and wear your insecurities like a badge of honor.

It’s more likely she thought you were badass in the sack, because let’s face it. Even bad sex is pretty good. Sex is a skill, and if you’ve been around a bit you probably are pretty good at it.

“It’s late, gotta run off to work.”

This one is about timing, nothing more. Saying you gotta run after a decent interval after sex, you’re obviously ambitious and will cheer your excitement to earn a living.

On the other hand, jumping after bed a few seconds after the act will annoy her no end (unless, of course, you agreed it was a last-minute quickie). The old wham, bam, thank you ma’am is more like it.

“You’re a bit noisy when we’re doing it.”

This tells her you didn’t enjoy her enthusiasm during the act, and would like her to simmer down like a polite lady should. Keep in mind Sex Volume Control runs counter to letting inhibitions go wild, and it puts a damper on the after-sex moment. If you are pathetically uptight, she’ll get it right away. If not, it makes a bad impression.

This is your starter list to better after-sex, and I hope it was useful. Rest assured these are very typical real-world examples from real experiences. Hopefully you can learn from other people’s mistakes and benefit.

October 13, 2015
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